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Smart Phones and Etiquette

July 1st 2009 07:31


Smart phone technology has generated a lot of debate about rules and manners and the obsession with staying online or connected twenty-four hours a day.

The constant fiddling with mobile phones during meetings and presentations is now forcing companies to draw up rules for the use of them, something that has been neglected for too long some executives say. Some managers have become so irritated by the constant fiddling on phones they are even banning them from meetings.



Those on one side of the argument believe being permanently connected is the way of the new millennium even that switching off, even if in a meeting or a presentation, can only result in lost sales or opportunities.

On the other side of the argument are those who have been annoyed and irritated far too often by people sending texts, accessing emails or jumping on to their Facebook or Twitter sites on their Blackberrys or iPhones with no regard for the person addressing a meeting or making a presentation.

Enough is enough is what they are saying and calls are being made for a new rule book, an etiquette guide if you like, for how and when to use the smart phone.

I have to agree, I am more with the second camp. I know that in this age that forces us to work in the minute, attention should always be paid to good manners and fiddling with or sending texts on a mobile phone in company or in a meeting or a presentation to me is just plain bad manners.


Having said that, I often wonder why we have live meetings or live presentations at all these days. Everyone is so obsessed with being on line – and many would rather be online than in any live meeting anyway – you have to wonder what the point of any meeting is anyway. Why don’t they just do these on line too?

Smart phone technology, such as the Blackberry or iPhone, has turned our mobile phones into something of a mini-office. That’s not to say that the fiddling and tapping away on mobile phones was absent before we had this technology. Sending texts when in meetings or presentations has long annoyed and irritated many who want audience focus and participation.

It’s just that the smart phone technology has almost justified impolite behaviour. It is saying “I’ve got something more important to attend to than this presentation”.

Over in the USA, some business leaders and political heavyweights are fed up with what they see as rude and blatant use of new technology they are rewriting the rule book. The Creative Artists Agency and United Talent Agency in Hollywood have banned Blackberrys in meetings and state Senate majority leader, Malcolm Smith, was recently asked to leave an important meeting discussing budget matters after he read his emails during the meeting.

Favour is tending towards smart phone use as more of a percentage of people use them for just about everything, all day, every day. They can even replace the old pen and notepaper in a meeting but people need to be a little cautious when using their smart phone for this purpose.

A client could easily misinterpret the note taking as chatting by text as one Manhattan talent-book agency found out recently. The founder and CEO was forced to justify and explain notes taken in a meeting after a client complained about the constant use of the phone by an employee during the meeting.

No matter what is decided as the blanket rule or etiquette in the use of today’s mobile phones when in the company of others, there will have to be some consensus. Otherwise, misunderstandings such as the one just mentioned are going to be everyday occurrences and that can eliminate all of the benefits that the smart phone technology have given us.

Do you use your mobile phone in meetings?



Sourced: The New York Times




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Remembering a Name

June 28th 2009 05:00


Remembering people’s names is not only an art but a necessity. Forgetting them can stall a business relationship and can often be downright embarrassing.

We meet so many people through our work and socialising that remembering all their names can be extremely difficult especially if the meeting has been swift. So often I hear people say “I’m hopeless with names” or “I never remember people’s names”.


Addressing a person by their name can win you a lot of points. Not only will it build an instant rapport with them but it can make a very good impression and in turn they will probably remember your name too. A friend of mine who not so long ago became a trainer and coacher remarked recently that calling his students by name gave him an instant rapport with them.

It is probably true that some people just have a really good knack for remembering names but sometimes this “knack” has been trained in the art of recalling names.

I know sometimes the reason I have forgotten someone’s name only shortly after being introduced to them is because my mind has been elsewhere, thinking about what I had to do or something like that.

Generally I am pretty good at remembering names but I do have times that I am not so good and I have tried to improve my ability to remember by concentrating on the name when I am first introduced.

There are many who advise to repeat the name back to them such as “nice to meet you John” and if possible repeat it often in the first conversation you have with them.

This may not always be possible. In work situations especially sometimes you meet people very briefly and don’t have the opportunity to repeat and repeat the name. In this situation I often deliberately try to repeat the name to myself a few times. It does help.

Often I have heard it suggested that using mind pictures to remember names can be very helpful although I have never really found this suited me.

One trick I do find useful is to think of a celebrity or famous person with the same name and repeat this whole name to yourself automatically associating that person with someone of fame.

There are people who have lots of practice at names everyday and lots of them. Teachers have classes full of students they address personally. Supervisors with quite a few people reporting to them are constantly relating to people individually.

Some of us just don’t get that regular daily experience so the best idea is to practice and purposely try to improve your skill.

If all else fails perhaps you could quietly ask someone else the person’s name if that is possible or maybe you can just admit you can’t remember their name.



Do you have a special trick or tips for remembering names?




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Don't Forget to Cover Your Mouth

June 15th 2009 06:23


It is impolite, even rude, not to cover your mouth when you yawn but it is really amazing the amount of people who don’t even bother. If you are yawning, a mouth wide open looks pretty awful – almost like one of those clowns in a side show at a fair – and it’s just simple bad manners.

To sneeze or cough without covering your mouth is even worse. It’s always advised that you cover your mouth if you cough or sneeze and even better if you can do this into a a tissue. Of course, the whole issue of sneezing and coughing has featured on news and radio and in blogs over recent months, Swine Flu generating most of the discussions.


A few months ago there was a blog I stumbled upon where the moderator repeated something he had heard on the radio. It was that people over 30 coughed into their hand but people under 30 coughed into their arm.

It generated a lot of conversation, many saying they coughed into their elbows, some into their forearms and a few mentioned their wrists. So I could only conclude that it must be a generational thing because I was never taught to do that.

Another one I read where a guy had said he always coughed or sneezed into his shirt and this disgusted his wife. He thought it was much better than coughing or sneezing into his hand. The responses were mixed, some saying it was gross and others thinking it really was quite OK.

When researching for this post I found a Centres for Disease Control website and checked out their advice. Obviously, the most important factor behind their advice is to prevent the spread of germs and disease rather than what’s rude and what’s not.

In fact, the main message was that coughing, sneezing and unclean hands spread serious respiratory illnesses like influenza, respiratory syncytial virus (RSV), whooping cough, and severe acute respiratory syndrome (SARS).

What to do when you cough or sneeze? This website advises to cover your mouth AND nose with a tissue when you cough or sneeze and if you don’t have a tissue, cough or sneeze into your upper sleeve NOT your hands. Hands should be washed either with soap and water or an alcohol based product afterwards.



On a site written by two doctors, Dr Dave and Dr Dee, advice they give to readers about coughing and sneezing when it comes to etiquette and hygiene is pretty similar. They do mention the traditional etiquette of turning away from people when you are about to cough or sneeze. Like the Centre for Disease Control they also suggest that if a tissue isn’t available to cough or sneeze into the elbow or upper sleeve!

So there you have it. You should always cover your mouth when you are yawning, coughing or sneezing, no question. For the sake of public health, it is much better to cough or sneeze into an elbow or an upper sleeve than into a bare hand. The blogger I mentioned earlier wasn’t so gross after all.

Have you got any better tips?


Image of women sneezing - credit www.guardian.co.uk

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Complaining the Right Way

May 24th 2009 22:06


I don’t think I could find one adult person who hasn’t at least once been infuriated by a service provider of some kind. How should you air your grievance?
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Cocktail parties can range from a dressy occasion right down to a home party but if most people call it a cocktail party on the invitation, then you’d probably be expected to wear something reasonably smart


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Basic Table Manners

May 3rd 2009 08:00


So you have been invited to dinner. Maybe it’s a boss or a colleague or a friend. Are you worried you may make a fool of yourself


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Without a Queue

April 27th 2009 22:48


Where would we be without the queue


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Good Manners and TV

April 24th 2009 05:50
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Blogging Etiquette

April 20th 2009 21:34


As blogging is relatively new there have been no real rules in etiquette when it comes to commenting on blogs. This doesn’t mean that there is not an etiquette that should be applied to the whole genre of blogging


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Mind Your Mobile Manners

April 14th 2009 20:34


Love the one you are with or at least talk to them because if you spend your whole night out chatting to someone else on the phone, your friend may not be being available the next time you try to get together. I doubt that any person who agreed to meet you socially would have expected ending up spending most of the night listening to one side of your conversation. It’s rude and very disrespectful to the person or people in your company.
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