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Acceptable Etiquette - April 2009

Without a Queue

April 27th 2009 22:48


Where would we be without the queue?

If there is one thing that has promoted courteous behaviour over the last few decades it is the almost blanket adoption of the queue. I do say almost but I am often surprised at how people have come to accept that they have to wait in line.

It is nowhere more obvious than my local bus stop. To accommodate the ever increasing number of people catching buses to work and elsewhere, many bus stops out my way have adopted queuing to quell any arguments over who gets on first.


I doubt that this system has been adopted all over Sydney but my bus stop is a pretty popular pick up point and therefore there are more people at the stop than can fit onto any one bus a lot of the time, especially in peak hour.

Banks are another example of services that have improved the way we queue. We may all criticise them for just about everything else but they generally try to make things more orderly these days.

The single line is a large improvement on the individual queues for each teller. I can remember time and time again being stuck behind someone who had a lengthy transaction and watching an opposite queue move swiftly through. It was enough to make my blood boil at times. They eventually, like many other organisations, have learned to organise a single queue so as to make service more customer friendly.

So too have places like Medicare and the RTA made it so easy we only need to take a ticket and wait for a number to be called. No-one even needs to actually stand in a queue for service.


There are other queues that cause constant frustration. Think about waiting on a telephone queue for some customer service. That one often is designed to raise our temperature if anything can.

I had an experience only today where I waited and waited and was put through to “someone who could help me”. I must have spent five minutes telling this person all my personal information so she could verify I was who I said I was, only to be put through to another section that had a recorded message saying there were too many calls and to ring back later.

My second call was a lot less polite but it was hardly the fault of the person at the other end of the phone but rather the management. It is situations like these that call for some sort of organisation.

It is this type of queuing that needs serious revamp. We have become accustomed queuing for so much else in recent years. To aid crowd control at sporting events and concerts - all those gates that force us to walk around S-bends for a long way just prevent any queue jumping - and everyone just accepts it but the invisible queues on the telephone just seem to get worse.

I accept that there are a lot of situations where a queue cannot be organised. Train stations are one where there are so many entry points it makes it near impossible to organise.

They often say queuing is inherited from our British ancestors who have always accepted waiting in line as normal and everyday as anything else. Having said this, queuing for everything has not always been as much a part of our culture as it is now.

There were some interesting studies done on queuing not so long ago by a behavioural economist, David Savage, at the Queensland University of Technology. Savage’s research covered four 20th century maritime disasters, one of which was the sinking of the Titanic.

Savage concluded that British passengers on the Titanic died in disproportionate numbers on the voyage because they queued politely for lifeboats. Americans, he believes, elbowed their way on to the lifeboats leaving many Britons behind.

While most of our everyday lives are never really life or death situations, the culture of queuing often triggers a lot of debate. I, for one, would think that some of our organisations could get their act together and organise things just a little bit better.

Phone queues are a pain and can be very costly if you are calling from a mobile phone. There must be some better way.


sourced: www.independent.co.uk




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Good Manners and TV

April 24th 2009 05:50



Should the TV be turned off when we are entertaining guests? What about if they have popped in without any warning?

Recently in a discussion with some friends the subject turned to television and whether or not it was still regarded as rude to leave the television on when we have guests. I have to admit I am a bit of a Nazi when it comes to this subject because if I was a guest in someone’s home and they had one eye on the TV the whole time, I would pretty well feel they didn’t really want me to be there.

That is of course unless they had invited me around to watch something with them. Rules that were once pretty standard about television and its place seem to have all subsided and attitudes about television seem to now differ from household to household. I know I grew up in an era where television was a pretty new thing and some of the more strict rules around the home related to television.

In my family home the television went off without question at dinner time, as kids we were limited to how much and what we could watch during the day and it wasn’t usually allowed until late afternoon at the earliest. If guests arrived it would be switched off immediately.

It goes without saying that times were a hell of a lot different then. Children were encouraged to play outside, even on the street with their friends rather than spend time inside watching television. Today in comparison most parents would rather their children be at home or at least be where they can best be supervised. Knowing they are safe is much more of a concern.

Having said that, it doesn’t explain why a lot of people have become very blaze about manners when it comes to television. I’ve often heard people complain about friends switching on the television when they have been a guest for dinner or not turning it off after they have arrived to spend some time with them. You really can't blame them for being offended because it's just bad manners.

It can all probably be attributed to the fact that there are televisions screens everywhere you go. Many office foyers have at least one of them, often with news on the stock market or on a business channel. Cafes everywhere have one or more screens, often with some morning show or Oprah or a popular music station depending on their regular clientele.

Pubs and clubs have had wide screens for years initially installed to attract crowds for the big sporting events. At other times, I have often noticed the multiple screens in these places have a different channel playing on every one of them.

I have even noticed them pop up in the waiting rooms of doctors and dentists and I remember a few years back reading about a community’s angst when their local church installed a few screens. It was in America but I am sure there are churches with them here in Australia too.

So is it any wonder that we no longer have etiquette and manners when it comes watching television? We’ve all just become accustomed to having screens blaring at us all day long wherever we go, we don't give them a second thought. It's almost become our background music.

To me, watching a screen always takes second place to spending time with a family member or friend and it really is quite simple these days. We have a record button. We can watch a show any time we want to really. So if guests arrive, it's not only good manners to switch it off but your home will be a lot more fun to visit.

This is one way our conversation went and then someone added: “If it is so important to turn the TV off when you have guests around, why don’t we think it just as important when we are home with our partners? It’s probably the only time we have to sit down and chat about our day, but we end up fighting over the remote.” It’s an interesting point.

Not that I’m against TV. In fact, I really think television has a place in our lives if we don’t allow it to control us, but this can often require a lot of discipline. Perhaps it’s just about time to start using the record button again and find out what it’s really like to spend at least some of our nights television free.



Image credit: www.daily mail.co.uk


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Blogging Etiquette

April 20th 2009 21:34


As blogging is relatively new there have been no real rules in etiquette when it comes to commenting on blogs. This doesn’t mean that there is not an etiquette that should be applied to the whole genre of blogging.

While there is nothing set in concrete, contributing to blogs should really include etiquette. Firstly, there is the moderator (or writer) to consider. A moderator, or writer, of a blog often goes to a lot of trouble to write up material that has been researched, written and edited. What most bloggers hope to achieve is as much traffic to their site as they can muster. They don't want angry and uncalled for comments that detract from the topic they are writing about.

If you want to make a career of being a commentator on blogs, I would suggest that you should honour a few rules, in respect for the person running the blog and the people wanting to visit it.

Firstly, stick to the topic. The person who has written a post on their blog has invested a lot of time (mostly) in researching and writing the post. Most bloggers love traffic, but they want traffic and comments that can debate about the topic they have written about.

Everyone has a different view on a lot of subjects. Blogs invite these different comments. The trouble is a lot of people who make comments do not stick to the topic and get sidelined about peripheral issues or personal accusations against other people offering comments.

This is a difficult situation for a blog moderator to control. If you want to contribute to blogging sites and even blog on newspaper articles, think of a few things.

First, respect the moderator (writer) of the blog.

Secondly, keep the comments and arguments related to the topic.

Thirdly, always understand that others will have a different point of view to your own.

Fourth, don’t take an opposite view as being an insult.

Fifth: If you can't say something constructive, refrain from commenting at all.

Blogging is not so new but it is new enough not to have built any rules around it. Common courtesy should always be kept in mind and when debating, debate the issues not the people who have commented on the site.

If we keep to these guidelines, blogging will have hopefully a much better reputation than it does now. A lot of opinions on the internet can be very interesting indeed. These opinions should be considered before writing them because that is what will make blogging an art form.

Isn’t that what we all want?
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Mind Your Mobile Manners

April 14th 2009 20:34


Love the one you are with or at least talk to them because if you spend your whole night out chatting to someone else on the phone, your friend may not be being available the next time you try to get together. I doubt that any person who agreed to meet you socially would have expected ending up spending most of the night listening to one side of your conversation. It’s rude and very disrespectful to the person or people in your company.
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Calling People at Night

April 13th 2009 19:53


Is it OK to call people late at night? There used to be a sort of unwritten curfew to phoning and, in my family at least, it was 8:30. Calling any later, unless of course it was an emergency, was simply bad manners.
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Acceptable Etiquette is a new venture for me and I hope I can do it justice. This abandoned Orble blog has been crying out for an owner for some time now and I have finally decided to take up the challenge to write about the new social etiquette.
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