Janet CollinsGood Manners and TV
April 24th 2009 05:50
Should the TV be turned off when we are entertaining guests? What about if they have popped in without any warning?
Recently in a discussion with some friends the subject turned to television and whether or not it was still regarded as rude to leave the television on when we have guests. I have to admit I am a bit of a Nazi when it comes to this subject because if I was a guest in someone’s home and they had one eye on the TV the whole time, I would pretty well feel they didn’t really want me to be there.
That is of course unless they had invited me around to watch something with them. Rules that were once pretty standard about television and its place seem to have all subsided and attitudes about television seem to now differ from household to household. I know I grew up in an era where television was a pretty new thing and some of the more strict rules around the home related to television.
In my family home the television went off without question at dinner time, as kids we were limited to how much and what we could watch during the day and it wasn’t usually allowed until late afternoon at the earliest. If guests arrived it would be switched off immediately.
It goes without saying that times were a hell of a lot different then. Children were encouraged to play outside, even on the street with their friends rather than spend time inside watching television. Today in comparison most parents would rather their children be at home or at least be where they can best be supervised. Knowing they are safe is much more of a concern.
Having said that, it doesn’t explain why a lot of people have become very blaze about manners when it comes to television. I’ve often heard people complain about friends switching on the television when they have been a guest for dinner or not turning it off after they have arrived to spend some time with them. You really can't blame them for being offended because it's just bad manners.
It can all probably be attributed to the fact that there are televisions screens everywhere you go. Many office foyers have at least one of them, often with news on the stock market or on a business channel. Cafes everywhere have one or more screens, often with some morning show or Oprah or a popular music station depending on their regular clientele.
Pubs and clubs have had wide screens for years initially installed to attract crowds for the big sporting events. At other times, I have often noticed the multiple screens in these places have a different channel playing on every one of them.
I have even noticed them pop up in the waiting rooms of doctors and dentists and I remember a few years back reading about a community’s angst when their local church installed a few screens. It was in America but I am sure there are churches with them here in Australia too.
So is it any wonder that we no longer have etiquette and manners when it comes watching television? We’ve all just become accustomed to having screens blaring at us all day long wherever we go, we don't give them a second thought. It's almost become our background music.
To me, watching a screen always takes second place to spending time with a family member or friend and it really is quite simple these days. We have a record button. We can watch a show any time we want to really. So if guests arrive, it's not only good manners to switch it off but your home will be a lot more fun to visit.
This is one way our conversation went and then someone added: “If it is so important to turn the TV off when you have guests around, why don’t we think it just as important when we are home with our partners? It’s probably the only time we have to sit down and chat about our day, but we end up fighting over the remote.” It’s an interesting point.
Not that I’m against TV. In fact, I really think television has a place in our lives if we don’t allow it to control us, but this can often require a lot of discipline. Perhaps it’s just about time to start using the record button again and find out what it’s really like to spend at least some of our nights television free.
Image credit: www.daily mail.co.uk
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Comment by Morgan Bell
Science News
Deep Pencil
Business News
Movie Train
i also dont care if people watch the tv when i visit them, im a pretty low maintenance house guest and dont require direct attention, i just like being around people as they go about their ordinary lives
one little gripe, and this goes for tv, dvds, radio, cds etc, i think the host should keep the volume at a comfortable level, even if they like having their ears blasted out it doesnt mean their guests should be subjected to it
im quite regularly the person who sarcastically says "gee do you think youve got that on loud enough?" haha
this has been another great post Janet, really made me think!
Comment by Janet Collins
Acceptable Etiquette
The Social Critic
Janet Collins Blog
It is really interesting how our lives throughout childhood really affect how we think about things as an adult, often without even realising it.