Janet CollinsRemembering a Name
June 28th 2009 05:00
Remembering people’s names is not only an art but a necessity. Forgetting them can stall a business relationship and can often be downright embarrassing.
We meet so many people through our work and socialising that remembering all their names can be extremely difficult especially if the meeting has been swift. So often I hear people say “I’m hopeless with names” or “I never remember people’s names”.
Addressing a person by their name can win you a lot of points. Not only will it build an instant rapport with them but it can make a very good impression and in turn they will probably remember your name too. A friend of mine who not so long ago became a trainer and coacher remarked recently that calling his students by name gave him an instant rapport with them.
It is probably true that some people just have a really good knack for remembering names but sometimes this “knack” has been trained in the art of recalling names.
I know sometimes the reason I have forgotten someone’s name only shortly after being introduced to them is because my mind has been elsewhere, thinking about what I had to do or something like that.
Generally I am pretty good at remembering names but I do have times that I am not so good and I have tried to improve my ability to remember by concentrating on the name when I am first introduced.
There are many who advise to repeat the name back to them such as “nice to meet you John” and if possible repeat it often in the first conversation you have with them.
This may not always be possible. In work situations especially sometimes you meet people very briefly and don’t have the opportunity to repeat and repeat the name. In this situation I often deliberately try to repeat the name to myself a few times. It does help.
Often I have heard it suggested that using mind pictures to remember names can be very helpful although I have never really found this suited me.
One trick I do find useful is to think of a celebrity or famous person with the same name and repeat this whole name to yourself automatically associating that person with someone of fame.
There are people who have lots of practice at names everyday and lots of them. Teachers have classes full of students they address personally. Supervisors with quite a few people reporting to them are constantly relating to people individually.
Some of us just don’t get that regular daily experience so the best idea is to practice and purposely try to improve your skill.
If all else fails perhaps you could quietly ask someone else the person’s name if that is possible or maybe you can just admit you can’t remember their name.
Do you have a special trick or tips for remembering names?
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Comment by Jason King
Sydney Table
Salty Popcorn
Total Randomness
I always do the repeating when I can and I also try to associate something I like wiht people to remember - for example if a conversation goes to red wine - then that person becomes the "red wine" guy. I also try as often as possible in work situations to get their name and number as soon as I can in my phone - this way whenever they ring me their name will flash on my phone.
It takes doing something 12 times for it to become habitual - so after you have spoken to them in person or on a phone 12 times you will not forget.
Comment by Aimee Dent
Aimee’s first blog – Adventures from the land down under.
Aimee
Comment by Morgan Bell
Science News
Deep Pencil
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Movie Train
i love doing the thing where you ask people for their number and then hand THEM your phone so they can type in their own name
although when i see or ring or email people i havent spoken to in a long time i always re-introduce myself by name as Morgan to save any awkwardness
Comment by Janet Collins
Acceptable Etiquette
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The "red wine" guy is such a good suggestion but does that make you remember the name. I often remember what I have spoken to people about and where I was but I can't remember their name. This I have to fix.
I had never heard of the 12 times rule but it does probably take me that long.
Thanks for the comment.
Comment by Janet Collins
Acceptable Etiquette
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Oh, it's not only names that I forget also even though I have a reasonably good memory for a lot of things. Where I parked the car used to be a common one but I am pretty good at that now.
Thank you for the visit.
Comment by Janet Collins
Acceptable Etiquette
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I've never asked someone else to put their number into my phone. I think with me the trouble with that strategy is that I would see their name in my phone book and wonder who they were.
I'll have to try it out sometime and see if it works for me.
Thanks.
Comment by Lara M
Love Speaks
Food Slate
You're right...if I'm not in a socialising mood that day, it's extra tough to remember
Comment by Janet Collins
Acceptable Etiquette
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Thanks for the comment and for dropping in.
Comment by Jason King
Sydney Table
Salty Popcorn
Total Randomness
The 12 times rule applies to most things - especially when I am training staff - if they have done it 12 times I am confident they won't screw it up
Comment by Janet Collins
Acceptable Etiquette
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I will certainly give both these things a try.