Janet Collins
Jason KingEtiquette for Umbrella Use
April 3rd 2011 06:27
It has been raining way too much for the world at the moment. The entire planet has gone through a shift to save itself, in my opinion. A year or two ago and the planet was facing water crisis, drought and general out of control heat. Now, on the other hand, we are experiencing something akin to Noah's flood the world over and tsunamis and world disaster left right and centre. Now we just need a mini ice age and the world will be back to normal and we can stop all fretting about hideous global warning and global crisis.
Now - I do believe I am going too far - this is about the weather at hand and that is a lot of rain with some scattered sunshine. And due to this rain we still have to get around but now we are also bringing something along with is that makes our personal space nearly triple but trying to fit us all in the one place. It is like we are doubling the physical population in one downpour.
It was last week when trying to get to a screening in the city through masses of finishing workers during a downpour that I noticed a lot of the public become pure assholes with their umbrella usage and think one third of the population should fall down a hole so they can get around. Hence this articles started nagging to come out. Did you know the umbrella or parasol (for sun protection) has been around in every culture since about 1000yrs before Christ - so people - by now you should know how to use them!!
The easiest thing would be for every person at once to stop using umbrellas for ever and to get themselves a nice raincoat - it worked for your first 10yrs and you all put your kids in one - why not yourself or is there an age limit that allows you to progress from raincoats to umbrellas - bad idea!!
I searched the internet for an official policy on umbrella uses and found something even better - numerous suggestions from the public - please enjoy these tips on umbrella etiquette from the people you have nearly blinded with your unruly brolly use.
Tips on Umbrella Usage:
" If the precipitation has ceased, be courteous and sheath your umbrella. A deployed umbrella on a rainless day is a grave public offense."
" When disembarking from public transit, one should keep their umbrella holstered until such a proper time as it may be safely wielded without impeding the general progress of fellow passengers."
" Ensure the umbrella you carry is of good craftsmanship. It should not have any broken spikes as this could be hazardous to passers-by."
" Hold your umbrella at an adequate height above your head. A good rule of thumb is to keep the bottom of the handle at shoulder level."
" Though swordlike, umbrellas are not weapons; they should not be treated as such. Do not engage in fencing, jousting, or any other manner of swordplay or horseplay with an umbrella. Please practice your swordsmanship using actual swords."
" When opening an umbrella, particularly one that opens automatically, make sure it is pointing away from other people and that the canopy won't hit them as it opens. If your umbrella is already wet, also ensure that it won't spray water at people nearby."
" As people approach you from the opposite direction, raise your umbrella so they can pass underneath and don't have to walk around. If the other person is also carrying an umbrella, adjust the height of your umbrella to pass either below or above their umbrella."
" If you are already under a cover or canopy, close your umbrella. Or, leave the covered areas for people who don't have umbrellas and take your umbrella into the rain where it serves a purpose."
" If your umbrella happens to break while you are using it, as tempting as it is to toss it angrily into the gutter, hold onto it until you can dispose of it properly."
" Use the Right Umbrella: Being barely 5 feet 2 inches, can you imagine me walking down the street trying to hold and balance a large golf umbrella? Neither can I! Carry an umbrella that is appropriate for your use and proportionate to your body size. There is no rule saying you can’t own more than one umbrella: a small one for your use alone and a larger version when you are walking together with another person."
" Learn the Dance of Umbrellas: For a taller person, when you encounter another person using an umbrella, raise your umbrella up so a shorter person may pass by without colliding with your umbrella. Likewise, if you are a shorter person, lower your umbrella closer to your head. The end result is a well choreographed “dance of umbrellas” down the street, each umbrella being raised or lowered in graceful motion, avoiding all conflicts, collisions, and pokes in the eye."
And my own personal advice: Never buy an umbrella EVER - every place in the world has a lost and found - and every lost and found always has an abundance of forgotten umbrellas because no one cares about them unless it is raining. They will never be claimed - I have 5 nice umbrellas that all sat in my own place of employment for over 2 months - I would just grab another one when leaving work on a rainy day. To make up for this I am going to take four of them back to pay it forward so to speak. For great customer service large department stores should bring out all their lost and found brollies on rainy days and hand them out for FREE. Or everyone buy a raincoat!!
The only other thing I would suggest - or wish you - the best of luck using an umbrella on a windy day - I have a work colleague that falls about in hysterical laughter whenever she sees an umbrella get inverted in a storm. Good news is this is about to come to a stop thanks to the Senz Umbrella - suss the video!
Now - I do believe I am going too far - this is about the weather at hand and that is a lot of rain with some scattered sunshine. And due to this rain we still have to get around but now we are also bringing something along with is that makes our personal space nearly triple but trying to fit us all in the one place. It is like we are doubling the physical population in one downpour.
It was last week when trying to get to a screening in the city through masses of finishing workers during a downpour that I noticed a lot of the public become pure assholes with their umbrella usage and think one third of the population should fall down a hole so they can get around. Hence this articles started nagging to come out. Did you know the umbrella or parasol (for sun protection) has been around in every culture since about 1000yrs before Christ - so people - by now you should know how to use them!!
My preferred umbrella for the population
The easiest thing would be for every person at once to stop using umbrellas for ever and to get themselves a nice raincoat - it worked for your first 10yrs and you all put your kids in one - why not yourself or is there an age limit that allows you to progress from raincoats to umbrellas - bad idea!!
I searched the internet for an official policy on umbrella uses and found something even better - numerous suggestions from the public - please enjoy these tips on umbrella etiquette from the people you have nearly blinded with your unruly brolly use.
Tips on Umbrella Usage:
" If the precipitation has ceased, be courteous and sheath your umbrella. A deployed umbrella on a rainless day is a grave public offense."
" When disembarking from public transit, one should keep their umbrella holstered until such a proper time as it may be safely wielded without impeding the general progress of fellow passengers."
" Ensure the umbrella you carry is of good craftsmanship. It should not have any broken spikes as this could be hazardous to passers-by."
" Hold your umbrella at an adequate height above your head. A good rule of thumb is to keep the bottom of the handle at shoulder level."
" Though swordlike, umbrellas are not weapons; they should not be treated as such. Do not engage in fencing, jousting, or any other manner of swordplay or horseplay with an umbrella. Please practice your swordsmanship using actual swords."
" When opening an umbrella, particularly one that opens automatically, make sure it is pointing away from other people and that the canopy won't hit them as it opens. If your umbrella is already wet, also ensure that it won't spray water at people nearby."
" As people approach you from the opposite direction, raise your umbrella so they can pass underneath and don't have to walk around. If the other person is also carrying an umbrella, adjust the height of your umbrella to pass either below or above their umbrella."
" If you are already under a cover or canopy, close your umbrella. Or, leave the covered areas for people who don't have umbrellas and take your umbrella into the rain where it serves a purpose."
" If your umbrella happens to break while you are using it, as tempting as it is to toss it angrily into the gutter, hold onto it until you can dispose of it properly."
" Use the Right Umbrella: Being barely 5 feet 2 inches, can you imagine me walking down the street trying to hold and balance a large golf umbrella? Neither can I! Carry an umbrella that is appropriate for your use and proportionate to your body size. There is no rule saying you can’t own more than one umbrella: a small one for your use alone and a larger version when you are walking together with another person."
" Learn the Dance of Umbrellas: For a taller person, when you encounter another person using an umbrella, raise your umbrella up so a shorter person may pass by without colliding with your umbrella. Likewise, if you are a shorter person, lower your umbrella closer to your head. The end result is a well choreographed “dance of umbrellas” down the street, each umbrella being raised or lowered in graceful motion, avoiding all conflicts, collisions, and pokes in the eye."
And my own personal advice: Never buy an umbrella EVER - every place in the world has a lost and found - and every lost and found always has an abundance of forgotten umbrellas because no one cares about them unless it is raining. They will never be claimed - I have 5 nice umbrellas that all sat in my own place of employment for over 2 months - I would just grab another one when leaving work on a rainy day. To make up for this I am going to take four of them back to pay it forward so to speak. For great customer service large department stores should bring out all their lost and found brollies on rainy days and hand them out for FREE. Or everyone buy a raincoat!!
The only other thing I would suggest - or wish you - the best of luck using an umbrella on a windy day - I have a work colleague that falls about in hysterical laughter whenever she sees an umbrella get inverted in a storm. Good news is this is about to come to a stop thanks to the Senz Umbrella - suss the video!
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